boredomness..

29/11/08,1.07pm,saturday,library. today is again another boring day of mine. woke up at 10sumthin (jus bcoz my roomate has woke up,so i hav to either) reluctantly. settled my things, n then prepare to go lib. i looked gloomy once i get down there n was trying to look for food. there is none of the stall open for me! damn! went to ixora food court, super quiet and went down there of the food court. reverse bek n planned to hav my meal in ps. another bad luck to me again,ps was not open either! n thn i came to my last choice,plan to go to the grossary shop to get sum bread or junks in order to fill up my stomarch. maantau closed again. =.=' wasted my energy to walked pass the stores which i tot i can get food from there. instead, none of them were open. finally i went to ep food court to hav my lunch. i had it alone wif myself. feel so pity n lonely. but wat to do? bf not around, n dun hav the intention to ask fren out wif me anymore(especially guy). this is the only treatment or punishment to myself i guess. and i hav to bear wif it no matter how. this is wat i promised to myself earlier..din i? yeah, i did. last nite was another critical arguement between me n him. he once again revive my fault to him those days and i can't control my emo well last nite. in the end i wanted to break up straight. i really can't accept my bf accuse me of not doin thing to try to repair our relationship.. waz i did for these few weeks were jus wasted,n did for nothin!! i hate it,n get pissed off! even til now i stil can't let go of wat he said last nite. but all i can do now is just try more harder to let him know my heart towards him. although i feel energyless to continue. btw, going for hiking wif ailun at 6pm later. this is the 1st time i go hike wif her. hopefully it will b a nice n fun memory to me.. :) nothin can cheer me up for sure, n the only thing can relax my mind awhile is sport.i wan to sweat til i can forget the sads forever...beat it up!!!

craps again..

28/11/08,friday,5.00pm. today woke up at 10sumthin..turned on my pc n watched movie as the start of the day. 12pm meet wif kenny as promised last nite to hav meal together. we went to a vege stall and he told me that today is the 1st day of the month in buddhism calendar. waz a coincidence..after meal we head bek to campus CITS lab. he helped me to look thru my fyp report and told me where should i improve for it. i found out i had missed out lot of things and material in my report. 3 more week to go for me to submit the report. am i manage to complete it b4 the due date? mr.kau has defeat my confidence of doing it actually. "this is quite dissapointed actually of ur work" this sentence come across my mind everytime i start doin it. i made sum stupid mistake which i shouldn't hav in my report. i was so shame tat time. i dun even check for the typo clearly when i submit and he point it out in front of me n other lecturer. sigh..
after the report checking frm him, we went to mori cafe to on9. after tat head bek to lib n cont wif my study. jus hope that this sem i can survive frm those killing assigns and exams. and graduate on time. get a good prospect job so tat make my parents to b proud of their doughter all the time. this is my one n only wish to make it cum true to my life. i request for nothin,but hope my family is doin well all the time n live happily. i love my family

爱一人

如果你不爱一个人,

请放手.

好让别人有机会爱她.

如果你爱的人放弃了你,

请放开自己,

好让自己有机会爱别人.

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,

有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.

人生中有许多种 .

但别让自己为一种伤害.

有些缘分是注定要失去的,

有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,

爱一个人不一定要拥有,

但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.

男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.

女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.



如果真诚是一种伤害,

我选择谎言;

如果谎言一种伤害,

我选择沉默;

如果沉默是一种伤害,

我选择离开.



如果失去是苦，

你怕不怕付出 ,

如果迷乱是苦，

你会不会选择结束,

如果追求是苦，

你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,

如果分离是苦，

你要向谁倾诉,

好多事情都是后来才看清楚,

好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦!!!!

my last confess

weak to concentrate. easily get distracted by those unuseful thinking in my mind. can't even get rid of them. did i choose the right path for my life by telling u the truth? v can hardly bek to those time after waz u should know frm me. the ugly me has shown up my ugliest side to you in the end. ur angel is no longer touches ur heart,no longer resides deep into ur heart i bet. but i'm not regret, no regret to tell u the truth. becoz u hav the right to know all this n i really can't stand of the lies tat stand between us. i feel breathless..tears drop uncontrollably whenever i think of this. an ugly gal has destroyed 2 gentlement 's peaceful life. i'm suffering now. n so do u i'm sure. therefore i think its time to put a fullstop for our relationship le. i know v both might stil havin the feeling of can't let go of it. yet v hav to.. v r actually forcing ourselve to love each other even more n forget the real mean of coupling le. i tot pak tor should b a happy thing n i jus wish to hav a simple yet lovely relationship wif my bf. but seems my taught nvr cum true to me. dear, i love u..but no matter how deep our love is, there won't b a happy ending to us if v stil insist to ask for love frm each other especially for the situation now..i can feel dear bu shuang on everyhtin of me but yet dear stil tahan of it.. i can't bear of turning dear til like this.i wan dear to stay happy all the time..but mayb this will only happen if i quit frm this harsh situation of us. i won't call or msg dear not even disturb dear anymore..i swear..jus to makesure u r free frm disaster(me) forever.. i really mean it..